A Few Weeks Into Term: Why School Can Feel Harder Now Than on Day One

The new shoes have scuffed, the routine has settled, and yet for some children the end of September is when things start to noticeably wobble. Here is what may be going on underneath, and how primitive reflexes and the nervous system fit into the picture.

The first week back tends to run on excitement. There is a new teacher, a new classroom, friends to see and a freshly packed bag. By the end of September that novelty has worn off, and for a lot of families something appears to subtly (or not so subtly) move. The child who skipped through the gate on the first day now drags their feet at the door, or isn't ready to leave. The one who "seemed fine" at the start of term is falling apart at teatime, emotionally or just completely exhausted. If that sounds like your house at the moment, you are in good company. Many of the parents who contact me from the Holme Valley and across Kirklees do so at exactly this point: not in the first week, but three or four weeks in, when it becomes clear the difficulty has not eased as the routine has settled.

Why weeks three and four are often the hardest

A school day asks a great deal of a young body. Sitting on the carpet or at a table for long stretches of time, holding a pencil, copying from the board, tuning out the noise of thirty other children, lining up, changing for PE, eating lunch in a busy hall. As adults we forget how physical all of that is.

Over the summer, children move more, sleep later and are rarely asked to hold their bodies still for long. The early weeks of term are a big adjustment, and the tiredness accumulates. By now many children are running on reserves, and those who find the physical side of school hard to begin with feel it most.

What the nervous system has to do with it

Every child meets the school day through their nervous system. Before any learning can happen, the brain has to know where the body is in space, keep it balanced and upright, make sense of what comes in through the eyes and ears, and judge whether the surroundings are safe. For most children, much of this runs automatically in the background, leaving their attention free for the teacher and the task in front of them.

For some children it does not run automatically. A share of their energy goes on the basics: staying on the chair, keeping their place on the page, coping with the scrape of chairs and the echo of the hall. Plenty of them manage this well enough that school sees a settled, compliant pupil. What schools often don't see, however, is that it still costs them, and that cost tends to arrive at home, where they feel safe enough to let go.

Where primitive reflexes come in

Primitive reflexes are automatic movement patterns that develop in the womb and help a baby through birth and the first months of life. As the brain matures, these reflexes should be inhibited, and more mature postural reflexes take over to support balance, coordination and control. When primitive reflexes remain active beyond the age we would expect, INPP regards this as a sign of neuromotor immaturity. In practical terms, the child may be working harder than they need to in everyday situations, and a classroom is one of the most demanding of those.

Here are some of the ways it can be seen at school:

None of these is a diagnosis on its own, and many children show one or two signs without any real difficulty. What matters is the overall pattern and how much it is affecting daily life. My post on ten signs your child may have retained primitive reflexes goes into this in more detail.

What it can look like at home

• Exhaustion that seems out of proportion to the day
• Tears, anger or meltdowns soon after pick-up
• Homework battles, or ten minutes of writing stretching into an hour
• Trouble settling to sleep despite being tired, or new worries about school at bedtime
• Tummy aches or reluctance on school mornings, or the evening before school
• A parents' evening report that sounds like a different child from the one you see at home

If worry is a big part of the picture, you may also find my post Why Is My Child So Anxious? helpful.

Things that can help right now

1. Give them somewhere to decompress. Allow some quiet time after pick-up before any questions about the day. A drink, a snack and a bit of space will usually achieve more than "How was school?"
2. Think about food and water. Plenty of children eat very little at lunch, especially in a noisy hall, and drink even less. Children with retained primitive reflexes may be using extra energy throughout the day, because they are working so much harder than their peers. An after-school snack with some protein and slow-release energy (cheese and oatcakes, yoghurt with fruit, a boiled egg, hummus with carrot sticks) helps to replenish those reserves.
3. Move before you sit. A walk home, the park, climbing, swinging or bouncing on the trampoline before homework gives the body the movement it has been denied all day.
4. Protect sleep. Calmer evenings, a predictable bedtime routine and less screen time in the last hour before bed.
5. Keep the diary light. This half term may not be the time to add three new after-school clubs, even though it can be tempting to read their behaviour as a sign they need more to do.
6. Talk to school. A short conversation with the class teacher or SENCO about what you are seeing at home is worth having. Children who hold it together in class are easily missed. After more than twenty years in the classroom, I know how much teachers value that picture from home.

When it might be worth looking deeper

Some children simply need a few more weeks to settle. It may be worth looking further if things have not eased by October half term, or if the same pattern returns every September, every January and with every change of routine. That is particularly true if you also notice difficulties with coordination, balance, handwriting, concentration or sensory sensitivity, or if some early milestones such as crawling were missed or came late.

How an INPP assessment can help

An INPP assessment looks at the foundations that learning and behaviour are built on: balance, coordination, primitive and postural reflexes, and aspects of visual and vestibular functioning, alongside a detailed developmental history. It tells us whether neuromotor immaturity is likely to be playing a part in your child's difficulties.

If it is, I put together a daily home programme of developmental movements. These take around five minutes a day and are based on the movement patterns babies make in their first year. They are gentle, carried out at home, and reviewed at regular appointments over roughly a year, giving the nervous system a second opportunity to complete those early stages of development. The aim is for everyday demands such as sitting, writing and coping with a busy room to take less effort, so that more is left over for learning, friendships and family life.

INPP does not diagnose, or replace support from school, your GP or other professionals. We work in partnership with them. An INPP assessment looks at one specific piece of the picture, the physical foundations of development, and fits alongside everything else that is in place for your child.

Rebecca Gough is the founder of Think Thrive, a neurodevelopmental practitioner, and an INPP Licentiate and Tomatis Level 2 Practitioner. Before retraining, she spent more than twenty years as a classroom teacher.